Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Turns out you CAN beat a royal flush

ACES: My score is 7.

Kings: My sister attempted to make the King of Hearts when I was 14.

Queens: When I had reconstructive surgery to take my feet from grotesquely crooked size 17s to straight and functional 13s, my other sister dubbed herself the 'queen of mean' and routinely would stomp on the broken bones.

Jacks: They're sharp and pointy, like the hammer I put through my left hand at 16 by mistake while sharpening it.

Tens: I used to weigh 42 of them in pounds and had all the associate stigma and health problems to go with it.

And yet, somehow, I've never experienced agony like this. Never even imagined suffering on this level. I know it may sound petty - I'm fed, healthy, have a great son and am still best friends with my gay wife - but holy hell this hurts. And all the more for finally finding some grounding.

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