Some have asked about our plan moving forward: we're certainly not calling it an open marriage, nor are we going to be pursuing what would be 'typical' of an open marriage - though it's fair to call it a derivative of an open marriage. As I understand open marriages, the idea there is to keep the core partnership as primary while pursuing 'getting needs met' outside of the marriage. We're both pretty certain this would get ugly quick for both of us.
In our case, rather, we'll be remaining married strictly platonically as best friends for the time being, but when and if (it may not happen, we'll see) we start dating (who am I kidding? Of course we'll date), the idea isn't to 'meet sexual needs' with long or short term flings, but that we're actively seeking a new forever partner. Once that new partner is found for either of us, we divorce amicably, while remaining best friends throughout. Ideally even living in the same neighborhood or as housemates with the other couple. Our marriage is intended to end, a placeholder representing our forever deep love, not to mention the social, financial, legal etc benefits of remaining married in the meantime. But after each date debriefing as we would with anything else, helping one another problem solve along the way, etc. Oh, and SUPER clear communication throughout. And all of this AFTER she settles on whatever her identity actually is, this is all new enough she'd rather not wait.
And since we're family, our future dating will be as it would be with any other family "look, you marry me, you're marrying my mom/dad/sister/family too." The Socialistoes that make sense?
Also, thanks for asking! Answering this question really helped me continue my own processing here.
