Friday, November 27, 2015

OKCupid 6

Clearly it's been a while. Holidays have come and passed (they were excellent by the way), I've been to several Meetups and spent time with friends old and new and have generally been spending less time hurting and more time out playing - hence the paucity of posts since... Wow, it's been longer than I thought.

Quick updates:
New friends are excellent, especially when combined with trivia night, Star Wars, or a Boardgames & Booze Meetup

When your ex moves to the guest bedroom and even goodnight hugs stop... it hurts like hell.

Back on OKCupid - now that I'm hurting weekly instead of daily and feeling quite sufficient to be enough for myself - my therapist and I agreed a while back that I'm ready to dip my toe in the water.

I went on my first ever "date-date" just last week and had a blast.

I'm also considering taking yet another OKCupid hiatus. In the last week I've been on a total of 4 dates with 3 women:
1 was a bust - though I doubt I'll get into that here.
1 I can absolutely see being great friends with.
And 1, well, I'm not entirely sure. I like her a great deal. She was date number 1 and date number 4. I don't know how comfortable she would be with starting more than a casual dating relationship, nor am I certain I want that just yet (thank goodness I have therapy on Tuesday, because I also do want it - just anxious about diving in too soon.) What I know for sure is that I find her to be a long list of adjectives I won't bore you with. Every time I try to put them down they come out sounding ridiculously corny, predictable, and contrived-as-a-90's-era-made-for-TV-disney-romance-movie (Susie Q!), despite being entirely genuine (she's intelligent, well-educated, caring, self-aware, beautiful, funny, etc. ad nauseum.) What I suppose I can safely declare here is the following:
  • I like her a lot.
  • I am confident, barring any fiendish secrets or surprises, that we can be excellent friends.
  • I am honestly open to the idea of more developing while consciously working to make sure I am also open to the idea of just being friends if it doesn't.
  • I fear proposing more than friendship (once I'm ready) as I know many are uncomfortable remaining friends if becoming more has been broached but isn't an option.
I also know that it's exhausting being on OKCupid and I'd rather put what time and energy I have into pursuing my new friendships and sticking to just one possible-someday-romance at a time. No judgement, whatsoever, on what you do/how you date. Nor would I have the same expectation of a potential partner until she and I had agreed to 'be exclusive" (or whatever the modern kids are using in place of 'going steady'); that's just where I'm at.