I wanted to address this one directly. There are some of you who are aware that I weighed 415 lb a a year ago and, at last weigh in, am down nearly 200 lb. I've gotten a few emails asking if maybe my new body is what 'caused' The Socialist to be gay. Nope.
I've always been heavy, but thankfully The Socialist suffers from face blindness - a portion of which being that she actually can't tell by looking at someone if they're overweight
. But yes, weight loss absolutely changes things - here though I think it was more that our life was finally stable enough for long enough that she felt safe enough to actually explore her own sexuality in ways she was not able to do as a child in a particularly yucky home.
I've always been heavy, but thankfully The Socialist suffers from face blindness - a portion of which being that she actually can't tell by looking at someone if they're overweight
. But yes, weight loss absolutely changes things - here though I think it was more that our life was finally stable enough for long enough that she felt safe enough to actually explore her own sexuality in ways she was not able to do as a child in a particularly yucky home.
And yes, thank you for the other words - listening is what I'm trying to do. But as we've always told one another absolutely everything, I'm struggling not to unload my own grief on her in the meantime while searching for a new counsellor for myself. I know it's slowing her process, but it's where I'm at for now.
The plan for tonight is, once our little guy goes down (assuming he goes down before 10), to try and hang out as friends and focus on enjoying, even reveling in our friendship rather than the grief/despair/etc I feel or the shame she's feeling.
