As many of you know, The Socialist and I have built our life together around our farmstead. We both work demanding jobs and find enormous joy in caring for our goats, ducks, chickens, and produce every afternoon and weekend - it's the stuff life is made of.
The Socialiste only catch is it's also expensive. Repairs to the fence, extra feed when the snows come, the cost of watering the garden, soil alteration, and simply the mortgage required to sustain a large enough property and our home take a financial toll. But we're alright - together we make ends meet and our combined income is enough to get us by.
For now, well, we're still together. But at some point we won't be. I don't want to give up this life. Neither does she, but unless we can both find partners who A. are the loves of our lives, B. are willing to move way out in the woods and C. make bookoo bucks, that's not really an option.
It feels petty, especially with all of the other fears, insecurities, and pain surrounding this whole situation, but I'm also scared of losing my home, my goats, my food sources, my lifestyle. I don't want to go back to an apartment, or the city, or anything other than where I am. The Socialistis is the first place I've allowed myself to put down roots.
Damn it.
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