The Actress on Hold

This morning I woke up to a new text from The Actress - one that I was both surprised and gratified to read:

"Hi Smye,

Sorry for not responding to your message right away.  I really appreciate your understanding and for being so supportive of my need to take a step back. Honestly, I just got to a place last week where I realized my emotions are still just not sorted through properly, and that I’ve been seeking distraction from dealing with some of the hard things that I need to sit with and deal with over a period of time.

I think maybe for the moment I’d like to go radio silent to get some space and take stock of things, but I am not at all opposed to being friends and picking up getting to know each other when some time has passed and I feel like I’m in a better spot to do that. Would that be okay? I really do enjoy spending time with you, too.

So… I guess I’ll be in touch, then? And until then I hope all things for you go well, and your school and with Atticus and otherwise, and I look forward to catching up again before too long. :)

The Actress"

I must say, as disappointed as I still am to have had this relationship cut short (for the time being at least), I'm so gratified to have been smitten with someone so authentic and transparent in her own practice at life. Someone who's self-aware and willing to do her own work... yep, I definitely know that's the kind of person I need in a partner, the kind of person I need in a friend, and, HOORAY, the kind of person who I feel 'sparkly' towards. I hadn't been sure if that's the kind of person I'd find most attractive when I started this journey and - though it's far from over - I'm relieved that my first post-Mrs.-Smye crush is one of these people.

I certainly hope she reaches out once she's done her own work in this area, not prior, but not never. And if I never hear from her again, I'll be disappointed but fine and choose to trust that she's just doing what's in her best interest, working to be thankful she's caring for herself.

What, I presume, is our last message for quite a while follows:

"Good afternoon Actress,

Radio silence it is. Congratulations on your realization and determination to keep yourself healthy.

I look forward to reconnecting at some point, but please take as long as you need. And if I never her back from you, sure I'll be disappointed but will not resent you, instead trusting that it's in your best interest.

Take care, I wish you the best, and thank you for the time together we've had thus far. You have my profound respect.

Smye"