Thursday, March 31, 2016

Breakup Broken

It's been 1 day since the breakup.

It went... as to the quality of the going - I'm not sure how to measure it. This is my first dating relationship and my first breakup ever (at 27). There were a lot of tears on both ends, she kept asking "what could I have done differently? But don't worry, I won't try to change myself for you" and I kept choosing not to go there - I trust her intent. I have complete and total faith that she 100% means what she says.


But when The Socialist came out and asked for a divorce, I  did the same thing. And so I don't trust that she wouldn't carry my potential words around with her as a 'recipe' for 'fixing' herself to haunt her when jerkbrain rears it's ugly head.

She insists she wants to be besties  - so do I - but I think insisting on a break for a bit first so we're starting from as close to scratch as possible and so she can let the emotional dust settle a bit and make an authentic, fully informed decision as to how she wants to move forward rather than just the "DONT LEAVE, I'LL DO ANYTHING" unconcious bargaining I worry about.

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